CHA'ALT: FOOD RUN #2

Session the Second. Thursday, February 20th.

I couldn't find my NPC tokens until after the session, but now I can make some additional  funny ones based on the X.Card being used.. (See below)

It had been a while since we last played this adventure, so I did a quick recap and went over some of the Cha'alt-specific rules like the various metacurrency used to help die rolls or affect play.

The party ventured out into the desert en route to the Cosmic Feasteria restaurant. Midi Chlorian ("Peanut") piloted the Chumba 9000 speeder. There was an AC blower that only cooled the front seat section of the open cockpit, so two Muffin Men had to sweat it out in the back.

Coming around a sharp canyon bend that opened up into a larger area, Peanut expertly avoided hitting an old desert wanderer who was trying to flag them down to buy something. The man was fine, but spilled some of his wares out of a broken crate. He introduced himself as Ber Ningpu and was selling bottles of his Ta'aba Sko sauce with a Buy 2, Get 1 Free offer. He declared that it was his own special recipe and he "puts that shit on everything." Dundard bought two bottles (getting one free) and also got a bonus bottle for giving the man some water. Tazmon was given a bottle when Dundard explained how "famous" Tazmon was. Ningpu thought maybe Tazmon could promote his brand, despite never having heard of him.

Ber Ningpu explained that he sold his sauce on the road because he didn't have to share his profits with big city mobsters or pay taxes.

Dundard sampled the hot sauce and found it had a nice kick and also produced an exhilarating feeling.

Ber Ningpu told them of many strange things, including rumors of new cults that had popped up. He had also heard about the restaurant and even attempted to sell his hot sauce there, but the employees told him to beat it.

The group set out again and found the restaurant after seeing a sign and making a turn onto a slim road that led them off the beaten path.

The restaurant was seen to be a large one story building with a huge, lit sign on a tall metal pole. "The COSMIC FEASTERIA" was written on a large planet logo with a 50s stye rocket ship circling the image. A few speeders of various types (including a "Woody" station wagon version) were parked outside, and a riding spider-lizard was hitched to a post. Dundard smelled the sour musk of female lizard pheromones and wondered if lizardman-on-spider-lizard sexy time would be okie dokie and not bestiality at all.

The group entered and was about to be seated when Mark (Dundard's player) played the "Pop Culture" X Card.

For those of you not familiar, X Cards in Cha'alt aren't some way to avoid removing something from a game to avoid offending delicate sensibilities. Instead, the player activates one to alter a scene to inject something from one of the genres on the cards, such as Science Fantasy or Grindhouse/Exploitation. Even though there's a specific Gonzo card in the mix, whatever the player and GM usually conspire to add is usually pretty gonzo in its own right. The player also receives a point of Divine Favor. This might seem unnatural to  GMs and players who are used to more structured play and seldom delve into improvisation and collaborative world-building, but it definitely helps here to bring the wild and whacky world of Cha'alt alive.

In this case, Mark suggested the restaurant was like Arnold's from the Happy Days television show. I modified it a bit and said that Laverne & Shirley should be included as well.

The party was greeted by hostess Joanie and escorted to a table. All employees were dressed like 70s/80s fast food employees, but now with a bit of 50s flair. Another server (I considered Jenny Piccalo) waited on them. Tazmon asked if it was okay to use his own condiments but was told that outside food and drink were prohibited. Tazmon ordered burgers all around. Dundard wanted his burgers raw and wanted a caffeinated soft drink. The server recommended Purple Prizm™️. One of the Muffin boys really wanted a malted shake as well.

Dundard wandered over to the Play Area and convinced a female employee (Leather Tuscadero, a.k.a. Suzi Quatro) to play a cocktail style arcade game with him. A blonde version of the ginger kid from Terminator 2 dressed in post-apocalyptic garb played an upright arcade cabinet game nearby.

A server (resembling Warren "Potsy" Weber) waiting on an affluent and super morbidly obese family went schizoid and attacked a spoiled little boy. Tazmon tried to intervene, but was ineffectual with his staff, even after using a point of Divine Favor to reroll. Hector even chose to roll the Gilded Die of Satanis, an additional roll of a d6 which can yield embarrassing failure or spectacular success, but it was just a strikeout. Dundard beaned the waiter with a ball from the ballpit he had investigated. Other employees came over to help restrain their berserk coworker, as did the Muffin boys. No other patrons helped, including two Federation soldiers who had been seated at some point. Lezrak, the owner and proprieter (who now looked like Al from Happy Days, except wearing a turban) appeared to offer apologies and comp everyone's meals. He offered further compensation to the very miffed parents. The kid stuck out his tongue and gave the one finger salute to the waiter who had throttled him and scampered off to the ballpit.

The waiter was now calm but confused and was taken away, presumably to rest or await some kind of investigation.

Dundard noticed their food order had appeared on their table without anyone seeing it served and two patrons were not in sight - a solitary male diner and the kid from the arcade. But since there was more than one entrance/exit, they might have departed during the commotion or gone to the restroom.

The group chowed down. The Muffineers enjoyed their food and had warm grease and ketchup dripping down their faces.

Dundard experienced a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach, felt he was about to vomit and ran to the men's room to upchuck his two raw burgers. What came out of him was sizzling, grayish-pink liquid that seemed to evaporate when it hit the sink rather than go down the drain.

Best unprompted PC comment of the session:

NPC Ber Ningpu: "I saw some Federation vehicles come through here not long ago."

Dundard: "What kind?"

BP: "Tanks?"

Dundard: "You're welcome!"

The timing and delivery were perfect.

Other quotes:

(NPC Ber Ningpu) "[The hot sauce] is also good for [fist gesture meant to imply sex.] Ya just never want to apply DIRECTLY."

(Mark) That kid [playing the arcade game] is free-range. You know he's here without parents."

"What the hell. You only live once." (Hector, choosing to roll the Gilded Die of Satanis.)

"What's wrong with you? You're embarrassing us!" (Tazmon, to his sloppy eater friends.)

NEXT TIME:

- Will Tazmon join a singalong but demand that the animatronic Lizard-Bear band plays in his key?

- Will Dundard stall for time in the restroom?

- Will the party discover what really happened to Richie Cunningham's older brother?