CHA'ALT: FOOD RUN

Session the First. Thursday, November 21st, 2024.

(A Recap.)

It happened. After trying for a while to get my regular group to venture into the gonzo, sleazy, eldritch, post-apocalyptic, science fantasy RPG setting known as Cha'alt, I finally had that golden opportunity of having less players and the need for some filler material. I've been running Mörk Borg in the interim for sort of a revolving door of players when our collective availabilities prevented continuing the other GM/DM's 5E D&D or Warhammer Fantasy campaigns (I assure you, we do play other genres.) Since our last MB session ended on sort of a cliffhanger with a third player present then who wasn't now, I decided to flip the script.

I'm glad I did.

I found myself with two players, which interestingly enough, was the headcount for when I ran this adventure at Venger Con III. It's an adventure I came up with and I was honored to have Mr. Cha'alt himself, Venger Satanis as a player, along with the very awesome Judd Goswick, a top notch roleplayer (and helluva GM) by any metric I value. I won't recount that full experience here, but I'll just say it was a blast and if you take the time to represent a ball pit on a map, a Cha'alt player will copulate in it. Jeez, I really hope they disinfect those things.

I just want to point out briefly that I'm not a frequent blogger, and the last online recaps I did were for a pulp sci-fi game I ran several years back. I thought I might jot this one down for posterity though, if only to give Venger and some other folks a look-see into what hijinx people are getting up to in the collective Cha'alt sandbox.

After explaining the setting, the rules and some metacurrency elements, my players (Hector and Mark) used the Advanced Crimson Dragon Slayer rules plus Cha'alt Ascended (which is now contained in ACDS) to make two Player Characters worthy of adventuring under fuchsia skies. Characters were advanced to 3rd level with max hit points, which is usually the way to go for what will likely be a one-shot but may promise to be more.

Hector made Tazmon Zule, a chaotic blue-velvet-elf priest worshipping the adrogenous deity of debauchery (that Hector concocted,) Izzard. His noteworthy thing was rolled from a table I created for Zoth-Laced Worm Trails: He's a folk hero (or maybe just a social influencer on the holo-webs) known as "The Resplendent Dandy* of Evermore." His Cha'alt Ascended feature for Level 3 was that he had an entourage of three henchmen, named Bes Karr, Midi Chlorian (a.k.a. "Peanut") and Khy Berr. His cronies dressed in medieval peasant garb and their heads were adorned with those slouchy, "muffin hats" you might see people wearing at a Ren Faire and instantly loathe. Tazmon wields a staff and a sword for when he wants to make a mess.

*Hector is neither resplendent nor a dandy in real life, but plays the role well.

Mark made the lawful, yet fully cannibalistic reptilian warrior known as Dundard. His prehensile tail has a mind of its own, and once per session he can reroll a roll from Grace Under Pressure. He has a sunsword AND a sunbow because.. F you, why not both? Under the ACDS rules, your base weapon damage is solely determined by class until you murder someone for something better, so I allowed him to have a melee and ranged version. I am the nice one.

The duo awoke in the tiny A'agrybah cantina The Lazy Eye following a night of drunken escapades after a recent job with their mercenary company, "The Red Lizards" had gone south. The name of their crew came from me looking at Hector and yelling, "QUICK! Give me a color!" and then at Mark, saying, "Something dangerous!" Mark asked if this bit of spontaneous, collaborative creation was part of the rules. It's not explicitly in the rules, but it's in the spirit of them and Venger's psychocosmic brand of tabletop gaming.

The pair woke up in pools of their own saliva. Dundard's happened to smell like the snake pit at a zoo, and the plate of raw meat next to him wasn't smelling too great either. They were given tiny, espresso-like cups of a highly caffeinated substance known as javafava and a breakfast of runny green eggs and chickenork bacon. Mmmm.

As the first rays of lavender-tinted light burned into their throbbing eye sockets, in walked criminal underling "Chet," who wore an expensive yet gaudy, tailored silver suit. He had a job for them on behalf of his employer, prototypical gangster and restauranteur Gorio Griggorin. Chet had been expecting more hired hands, but two would have to do.

The PCs followed Chet through the bustling city streets. Tazmon caught sight of one of his missing lackeys attempting to haggle for a casabayaba melon. Trying to be heard above the din of the market, Hector rolled a natural 20. Tazmon's velvet voice somehow pierced the racket, commanding attention. Everyone turned, and Bes Karr dropped his melon. Dundard noticed a suspicious character eyeing Tazmon who hastily departed - the professional informant Ginzo Twatsnoot (Mark had suggested the alien tattletale from Star Wars.) As blue velvet elves are prized for their lustrous hides, this could mean trouble later on.

The group followed Chet to a restaurant supply warehouse. Bes Karr was told to gather his fellow Muffin Men for a job and return there.

Tazmon and Dundard met with Gorio, a sweaty, vaguely humanoid being whose skin had a grayish cast and the appearance of melted wax. Valuable rings could be glimpsed partially obscured by the bloated flesh on his fingers. Gorio was attended by an armored bodyguard of indeterminate sex, a feared bounty hunter and enforcer for the criminal underworld known as Ba'aba Fhed-Ba'aba.

Through a haze of cigar smoke, Gorio outlined his proposal. He wanted the PCs to check out a new eatery outside of A'agrybah. The local merchants were a bit miffed that this new restaurant had popped up seemingly from nowhere and was stealing their business. What was worse was that the owner wasn't paying his share of licensing and insurance fees, namely to Gorio. This couldn't stand. Their job was to either to steal some trade secrets to duplicate the restaurant's success or shut it down for good. This would net the group 2,500 talons up front and 2,500 upon completion, with the obligatory warning of sending someone (like Ba'aba) after them if they should think of skipping town with their retainer. Dundard also offered a third possibility, getting the restaurant to comply and join Gorio's Restaurant Guild. Gorio liked this idea, but informed them that those sent to remind them of such obligations had failed to return.

Tazmon and Dundard were left to their own devices to figure out how to proceed, as long as they would be discreet (or at least left no witnesses if they weren't.)

Dundard attempted to gain info on the "Cosmic Feasteria" restaurant and found an online menu. It seemed to be a family dining hall and entertainment center offering such fare as Lizzy-Spyda Ranch Burgers, Worm-Wurst Sa'anwiches, Chickenork Nuggies, Cosmic Fries, Cosmic Shakes, Chili Con Coneys** and Uncle Lezrak's Signature Side Salad with Simmering Sandsnake Sauce. Kids ten cycles and under get a free Bana'anaman Split with every meal on weekdays!

[** devised by Judd Goswick and given a callback here.]

Tazmon's Three Muffineers joined them and they decided to arrange transport to the Feasteria, which was roughly fifteen miles/24.1402 km/twelve made-up units of distance from the city. They decided to go to the Budget Rent-a-Speeder Lot run by the Rodney Dangerfield-esque droid Speedy Larry. They settled on a blue and silver Chumba 9000 that had just been detailed but needed a tune-up. This set them back 200 talons/day plus 500 for insurance, which seemed pretty steep for a vehicle they were warned not to exceed 50 miles in. Midi ("Peanut") said he could even drive in a pinch, since he was familiar with haulers, speeders and T-19 Hopskippers from when he lived on his Uncle Owenlar's vapor moisturator farm.

As some Irish Jawas (don't look at me, they're in Encounter Critical III.) gave the clunker a final inspection, a sobbing young woman approached carrying a stack of flyers that were coming loose in her arms. This was Ma'alenissa Settori, folk singer and amateur pharmacologist who pleaded with Speedy Larry to post a picture of her beloved Da'avco Lier who had gone missing. She explained they had an argument and he said he was going to a new restaurant without her. That was almost a week ago and he hadn't returned.

Suspecting a connection, the group went to her usual Bohemian haunt, "The Powdered Fruit." She fillled them in with greater detail, and offered powerful stim pills if they would help investigate. She has an online degree from the Federation Accredited Academy of Pharmacology, but her real passion is songwriting.

Everyone was subjected to horrendously bad beat poetry from a banana man in a beret..

Yellow.. am I

Fuchsia.. is the sky

Who am I?

Am I.. THAT guy?

Dundard convinced (bribed) the proprietor to bring Tazmon up on stage to perform his old lounge act (which Dundard had seen, being a "lounge lizard." Good one, Mark.) Ma'alenissa played backup mandolin. Tazmon's performance was mid at best, but outshined the banana man beat poet. Coins were tossed, and a drunk clapped and yelled "YEAH!!"

We had to cut our inaugural session short as Hector works nights, but it was a great start. Hector and Mark loved it so far and we haven't even gotten into combat. No X Cards (no, not THOSE X Cards, the GOOD kind) were activated to inject genre craziness, but I'm sure we'll see that happen. The players really leaned into the collaborative fiction moreso than other games, and I didn't have to coax or coach them on it. They took to it like fish to water.

NEXT TIME..

- Out into the deserts of Cha'alt they go.

- What will they find out there?

- What's the deal with this restaurant?

- What's the deal with the muffin hats?

- Does Ba'aba Fhed-Ba'aba sit or stand to pee? Or does that armor work like a still suit?